The Alchemists Of Vra
In which the world’s governments are threatened by a fanatical cat with a disturbing cushion obsession.
When Oscar stumbles across an arrogant bard named the Dodosette and the beautiful cat Vaasi-Vee, he unearths a plot to plunge the world into darkness. After some begging, lots of snow and an industrial vat of soup, the three animals argue all the way to the infamous land of Vra to do something about it.
They did not, however, anticipate having to fight invisible rottweilers, smash kitchens to pieces, lick frozen cars or fund taxi drivers’ sisters' eye operations. But for Oscar Teabag-Dooven, such things are aren’t unusual.
Except, perhaps, the bit about licking cars.
’I wish to see what this world has in its deepest darkest rooms!’ cried Vaasi-Vee, head feature writer for Collars Monthly, a very successful fashion magazine with particular emphasis on collars. ‘Its violence of spirit and its sordid games of greed! I wish to see mischief and treachery, sorcery and betrayal! I want to flail through oceans that have drowned and deserts that have seared, and flee from hideous foes before turning to fight with courage I never thought imaginable!’
She then met Oscar, which was fortunate, as he tends to do quite a bit of that sort of thing.
“Corfield keeps you guessing until the end, and then for some time afterwards.” - Nathan Fueruer, Uninsurable.
“These books are like a bad meal: in poor taste and unfinished.” - Oleg Vanastanovitski, Russian Mafia Hitman (unconvicted).
“Judging by their stupidity, these books are clearly written from experience.” - Christian Lauder, Aspiring Capricorn.