Teabusk

Teabusk

Stillness exists for a reason. Occasionally someone finds it.

Writing Wrongly

Writing Wrongly

When the whole world's against you, at least it's something to lean on.

Viscera

Viscera

When jealousy becomes disease, only surgery holds the cure.

Coleshanger

Coleshanger

If it can be said a village has a life, then this is a biography.

Dooven Books Box Set

Dooven Books Box Set

The Velvet Paw of Asquith Novels

Velvet Paw of Asquith Novels

Velvet Paw of Asquith Novels

Fluffy just got dangerous.

The Dooven Books

The Dooven Books

Ebook Editions

Ebook Editions

Box Set

Box Set

Brand New Fable

Brand New Fable

Genre: New Fable

Publisher: Panda Books Australia

 

Fluffy just got dangerous.

 

This series comprises eight anthropomorphic New Fable action/adventure books that follow the escapades of Oscar Teabag-Dooven, a highly trained secret agent who’s convinced he's no more than a poet. In as much, he finds thwarting the world’s villains tenuous, considering he can do little more than rhyme one lot of words with another.

 

They have been described as "Douglas Adams’ Hitch-Hiker’s Guide meets Terry Pratchet’s Discworld novels, but only in the loosest sense imaginable," which, considering the comments regarding Thomas' other books, borders on accolade.

 

“So action packed that several chapters consist entirely of verbs.” – Sasha Patil, GcG.com 

 

“If they were written by a far better writer, they might vaguely resemble Douglas Adams' Hitch-Hiker’s Guide meeting Terry Pratchet’s Discworld novels, but only in the loosest sense imaginable. Actually, forget that. They're rubbish.” – Baskqua Gherini, Point of Review.

 

”Their plots are only held together by the books' tangled and convoluted sentences.” - Malcolm Shrot-Faith, The Guardian.

 

"Your comments, Malcolm, border on trolling. No wonder I kneed you in the bollocks." - Thomas Corfield, increasingly indignant.

Print Edition

Print Edition

The Original Manuscript

The Original Manuscript

The Quote

The Quote

Print Edition

Print Edition

Ebook Edition

Ebook Edition

Ebook Edition

Ebook Edition

Rear Cover

Rear Cover

The Last Page

The Last Page

Coleshanger

Genre: Autobiographical, satirical narrative

Publisher: Panda Books Australia

Print ISBN: 9880770074082

Ebook ISBN: 9781310630224

Audiobook ISBN: 9781633480230

“If it can be said a village has a life, then this is a biography.” Norman Williams (1908-1969) 

 

“Coleshanger people are pretty bad,” said Uncle Edward. “They won’t cross water after sunset. And they have to be in bed by midnight, otherwise they think that they'll be turned into baboons and apes. They also worship the flea.”

 

Written in 1952, Coleshanger is a humorous, whimsical and charming recount of English village life in the early part of the last century, a tale waiting seventy years to be heard, but still very much the story of us today.

 

 “Finally, a book worth reading, principally because Thomas didn't write it.” - Malcolm Shrot-Faith, The Guardian. 

 

“I edited it though, and that took a lot of work. I used a dictionary and everything." Thomas Corfield, quite hurt.

 

 

 
Print Edition

Print Edition

Print Edition

Print Edition

Ebook Edition

Ebook Edition

Ebook Edition

Ebook Edition

Rear Cover

Rear Cover

Writing Wrongly

Genre: Dark Humour​

Publisher: Panda Books Australia

Print ISBN: 9780994530646

Ebook ISBN: 9781310003998

Audiobook ISBN: 9781633480360

A book about writing the Dooven Books

When the worst writer in the world self-publishes his books, the consequences are disastrous: illiteracy becomes something to aspire to and book burnings become rife. The publishing industry is left haemorrhaging credibility and verges on collapse.  Its recovery will require more than just destroying said books: the same must be done to mind that created them.

 

Written with little regard for punctuation, this sorta-biography is the story of one writer against the entire publishing industry. There’s lots of swearing and temper tantrums, as well as a brand new psychiatric illness. There’s also an excellent café scene, which although short, is worth mentioning.

 

“Dreadful. The title says it all. Except about it being dreadful. ” - Carmen Schneider.  Acquisitions Editor, PBA.

 

“The publishing industry is in upheaval, it’s true. But this just rubs vinegar into its wounds and garnishies it with slices of turd.” – Robert Tasher. MD, Banquet Press.

 

“It’s books like this that should have the internet banned.” - Malcolm Shrot-Faith, The Guardian.

 
Print Edition

Print Edition

Print Edition

Print Edition

Ebook Edition

Ebook Edition

Ebook Edition

Ebook Edition

Rear Cover

Rear Cover

Teabusk

Print ISBN: 13-9880770074082

Genre: Literary Narrative ​

Publisher: Panda Books Australia

 

When a young, impressionable physics student meets an enigmatic girl who rarely speaks, he realises that language often confuses those using it.

 

But her enigma, though puzzling, is also familiar.  Through it, his perception alters and he begins to understand things in a way he never imagined. Moreover, he discovers that his introversion is not so much a flaw, but essential to understanding everything—including his place in it.

 

Stillness exists for a reason.  Occasionally, someone finds it.

 

“Generally, pretention has the redeeming quality of arrogance. And even arrogance has the redeeming quality of delusion. This, however, has no redeeming qualities whatsoever.” – Stephanie Mills, Freelance Editor.

 

“Yet another of Thomas’ attempts at being something he’s not: a writer. It's so badly written that I suspect even the title is a typo.” –Malcolm Shrot-Faith, The Guardian.

 
Print Edition

Print Edition

Print Edition

Print Edition

Ebook Edition

Ebook Edition

Ebook Edition

Ebook Edition

Rear Cover

Rear Cover

Viscera

Print ISBN: 13-9880770074082

Genre: Medical Drama

Publisher: Panda Books Australia

Medicine should heal, not tear people apart.

 

Cantar Ethanual Holt, professor of anatomy at a prestigious medical school, is fighting to reclaim a lost surgical career. But when his wife’s cancer returns, his hopes are shattered.

 

At the same time, Richmond Merchison-Banks, an arrogant but brilliant medical student, is humiliated into repeating a year after Cantar is forced to fail him.

 

When both men become infatuated with second year medical student, Livia Bravanovski, they’re thrown into a vicious struggle of pride, jealousy and revenge. But when jealousy becomes disease, it seems only surgery holds the cure.

 

“A poor attempt at drama, and a tedious, self-indulgent trawl through drivel, rife with excessive exposition and appalling use of apostrophes.” - Malcolm Shrot-Faith, The Guardian.

 

“Such comments do you no credit, Malcolm. And neither do those trousers.” – Thomas Corfield, unperturbed.

 
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