In a surprising turn of events, SomaFM has agreed to feature some of The Velvet Paws of Asquith's music on their streaming internet radio station. "At SomaFM, we believe in supporting independent music, provided it meets a certain level of quality," stated Simon Miller from the station. "We're pleased to include their music in our live stream and share it with our listeners. We felt their lo-fi sound would be a good fit for our vintage playlist on the Illinois Street Lounge channel, as well as a couple of their tracks for our Secret Agent playlist."
Crappar and St. Jives are understandably ecstatic. "We're thrilled," St. Jives admitted. "Although I'm surprised they mentioned our 'style,' as I was under the impression we had none. And as for the 'lo-fi' sound, I suspect it's due to our reliance on a rather dodgy cassette recorder. Jonathan is particularly excited about the mention of 'style,' considering it's usually preceded by 'absolutely no' in any context related to our music. In fact, he's so thrilled that he's having the word printed on T-shirts – unfortunately, not new ones, but on the backs of our old 'Jesus Christ My Penis' ones. To be honest, we're surprised they mentioned 'style' at all. Usually, the only 's' words associated with us are 'shit,' 'shut-up,' and 'seriously stop that stupid shit and shut-up, you shits.' So yes, it's truly a momentous occasion."
Thomas, on the other hand, was indignant that his books weren't mentioned in any of SomaFM's promotional materials. "I'm outraged that my books weren't mentioned in any of SomaFM's promotional materials," he admitted. "I understand books can't be streamed online – although I did once receive one of mine shredded in the post – but I'm annoyed that their success is being linked to my books. I'm not envious or anything, but it does make me want to inflict bodily harm upon these selfish individuals. I even sent one of my books to SomaFM so they could see where the name 'Velvet Paws of Asquith' originated."
"We did receive a book, yes," Simon confirmed. "It was dreadful. Absolutely ghastly. I've never read anything so appalling. Even my phone bill offers more entertainment. I believe it's currently being used as a makeshift leg for a wobbly table in the staffroom. The book, not my phone bill."