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Thomas’ writing and narrative, let alone his social ineptitude, means he alienates virtually everyone he comes across.

Talking about dead bodies is guaranteed to get a woman’s’ attention, especially if I specifically relate it to theirs.

A new wave of Dooven Muzak, the infamous anaemic pop and vagrant jazz written to complement the Dooven Books, is currently being composed...

Astute readers of the first Wrong Book, of which there are none, will recall that Thomas described himself in court as a stainologist....

Following the recent rewriting of my novel, Viscera, which has the tagline “when jealousy becomes disease, only surgery holds the cure”,...

While Wrongly Writing, the second Sortabiography about writing the Dooven Books, takes shape amidst the re-recording of the first three...

Thomas was recently interviewed for the magazine ‘What Are You Looking At”, a publication at the forefront of promoting awareness of...

Git and prat are not the same thing. They’re spelt differently for a start. They do not, as many assume, mean idiot. Git refers to the...

First Album This first album of Dooven Muzak was written to showcase the theme music for the first books in the series, in particularly,...

During the early days of the Velvet Paw of Asquith Novels, Thomas tried getting help on a number of levels, not least with his writing....

Although Thomas’ mother didn’t give him a name until he was nine, it doesn’t mean she didn’t care about him. It could mean she was...

In a conference hall in Plempt, Thomas spoke to a gathering of aspiring writers. He hadn’t been invited to, obviously, but had wandered...

Most people use buses as a means to get from one place to another. Bus stops, primarily. Thomas, however, uses them for a different...

Last Spring, Thomas had a bad experience while being murdered. He did not take kindly to it, for a start, and even less so when realising...

As a result of a nasty telephone call, a threat of restraining orders and two poorly ordered coffees, Thomas was interviewed for Joomag’s...

One aspect of editing that Thomas really struggles with, besides spelling it, is reading the words that make up the sentence he’s trying...

If there’s one thing worse than someone who types loudly in a library, it’s someone who sniffs incessantly; patrons whose post-nasal drip...

As far as Thomas is concerned, success is just another four-letter word. And that’s not just because of his appalling spelling. When...

“Good writing makes the reader question themselves,” said Thomas in interview for ‘Manure Happens Twice’. “Whereas bad writing makes them...

In the same vein as Self-Derogatory Advertising, which was first mentioned on this blog and for which Panda Books Australia asserts...